Of the robotic life (excruciating re boot)

Outside Looking inD E Wasake Esq.It’s the year 3009 A.D Date: 25 January, Time: 13:52.I see message on my computer screen: “Wake up Dickson, the Matrix has got you…”It begins then:Ever get the feeling where you not sure whether you are awake or sleeping? Whether you are human or just a zombie?Am either experiencing Nirvana or the Matrix has got me, I feel I hear Morpheus telling me “free your mind”I no longer use my full faculties because there is no need for them because most of the time, I can almost predict with certainty how my week shall go, I have no need for a crystal ball or an oracle because frankly the machines have programmed my life and designed my specific code for my kind of life and I currently feel like am leading a robotic life:Typical week:Monday-Thursday 7.30am: Phone alarm goes off, can’t wake now, its too early, reset to 8.10 am8.10 am: Wake up feeling slightly depressed again (the eff#$# wintry cold given me the flu again, must carry 10 handkerchiefs and drink that bloody lemsip).Make a mental reminder that I am in UK, live alone, there is no one to wake up to but I will be fine because I didn’t come this far to drift and die but rather to live life abundantly. Saunter sleepily(eyes slightly closed) to the living room, turn on the computers and speakers, open music program, scroll down to play list entitled “slow down babe” scroll down to song: “singa” by Bobi Wine. As the music wafts into my ears, it serves as an electric shot to jumpstart my heart, my brain and by the time I realize that “Singa, ndi Museveni, nandi fuze nawe mu'ntebbe..”I am in the shower, turned on the water and am singing along…8.15 am: Check the mail/texts on my blackberry: NY Times: “Obama presses for quick jolt to economy”, Rita: [poems to sit on in the East African Savannah] new comment. Dilbert.com: “Daily strip email” AUTOMATIC BALANCE NOTIFICATION: “Urgent you are about to be blocked.” Bello Hamid[spam]: “Dear, Please kindly permit me of my desire to inform you about this deal which I have been wrapping up for years now. Although this proposal may come to you as a surprise, but I would want you to understand that this deal is 100% legal and risk free, though it requires confidentiality.” Facebook: “Akiiki T sent you a message on facebook"KK: “Wedding photos from the one and only.” Purpose driven life: “Our God does not grow on trees-Daily Devotional” Joy at Mafudian: “Updates” Doreen: “Advance.” Tchickie: XXXX8.30 am: Switch off lights, radiator, switch off laptop, open door, don’t say hello to next door neighbours(dont even know them), plug ear in phones, switch on blackberry MP3 player and scroll to music: A Millie-Lil Wayne ft Cory Gunz, wrap the scarf around my neck and button up to face the winter cold.In the lift, I open overcoat and put on my office face and switch the controls in my brain command post to autopilot!9.03 am: Saunter right past to my desk(Outta my way white boy!) Switch on the power of the laptop; start sipping on the warm chocolate already on my desk(Bless you Angela and Nicola), check what Jason was up to the night before (Just had a quiet one mate, playing pro evolution, its well sound mate). 9.15-12.59 am : Blah Blah Blah; Curo audit, blah blah; Dear Mr Wasake, please call me back on 755119, blah blah; Dear all, you have one week to respond to the new employee procedures manual confirmation, blah blah, if you are in task force please come out, blah blah, Dear Mr Wasake, thank you for meeting me, blah blah, Dear all, the canon printer will not be working, please use the Toshiba blah blah, another drink Dickson? Yes please, thanks Nicola blah blah….1.00 pm : Lunch. "Brrrrrr its cold mate, where do we go to?" Jason suggests Y-not café, I reply; "Oh sound." We head off. He is on phone; “Yah dad you alright” I am on phone; “Hi babes, how you feeling today” He is on phone; “hey Bret, we in Y-not, coming over?” I am on phone; “Hey Boni, whats going down mate”2.00pm: Return to office and start counting down the hours.....Blah Blah Blah; Compliance with JFSC, blah blah; call me back on 847143, blah blah; Wessex audit, blah blah, if you are in task force please come out, blah blah, Dear Dickson when will the ISQC checklist get completed, blah blah Dear all, the canon printer is now fine blah blah , “another drink Dickson? thanks Angela blah blah….5.15pm: Shut down, remove my office mask and put on my evening face, which comes with a hood and a blue scarf and a big Kenneth Cole over coat. Depending on the day of the week, the following will happen in the evening:Tuesday/Thursday-Go to Aqua splash to swim and go to the steam room till 6.30pm and then head off to Salsa class for 8pm before I go home to have microwaved canned food dinner, check out face book, fill out the big book crossword and read two pages of “a million little pieces”, call babes till sleep comes and I hear a voice say; “there goes another day for him, run the backup tapes Mungiki.”Wednesday-Nothing happens when "the Latvian girl" comes home (depending on whether X$#%^ is around is described as nothing happening.)Thursday-Nothing happens at the home of “The Bulgarian girl” (depending on whether X$#%^ around is described as nothing happening ) then head off home to have microwaved left over dinner, check out onion.com, watch family guy for 2 minutes, call babes till sleep comes and I hear a voice say; “there goes another day for him, run the back-up tapes Carlos.”Friday- Nothing happens at the Royal Yacht where I dance the evening away or thereafter at home when “The Irish girl” comes over (depending on whether X$#%^ around is described as nothing happening ) after letting her out, then head off to have microwaved left over canned food, check out dilbert.com, watch almost famous for 2 minutes, call babes till sleep comes and I hear a voice say; “there goes another day for him, run the back-up tapes Chang.”Saturday9.00 am- 11.30 pm NOTHING $%%$$## HAPPENS.(Not even calling babes, not even the back up tapes being run by the machines).Sunday 9.00 am-11.00pm-Wake up, turn on music, turn on TV, search for lunch, do the dishes, do the laundry, write for blogspot, watch family guy, go for the Jersey African night free food thing, call babes till night comes and as I sleep I hear the voices say;Voice 1: lucky bastard, doesn’t know how he has it good, he should ask the other crops.Voice 2: Back to the console Hudson.Voice 1: Well there goes another week for him, run the reboot and back up program and then hit the CTRL + ALT+ DEL to begin the new week sequence.Of course a true robotic or matrix life would however not be complete without any system glitches or temporary malfunctions. In my case my malfunction has been diagnosed as belowI receive a message on my black berry;BABES: Dickson what the fuck is this message in your mail that you sent to that evil bitch that ends with “P.S love always” I start to reply, " babes that was nothing..why you so insecure" and as I do…….Somewhere up in the computer room, a message blips up on the screen of the programmer assigned to EDW-525-Prototype from Uganda“Anomaly, system breakdown, this program has performed an illegal operation and will terminate in 5, 4,3,2,1……”P.SNirvana: The ineffable ultimate in which one has attained disinterested wisdom and compassion. An ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability, or joy. “Wake up Dickson(Neo), the Matrix has got you…”“Ever get the feeling where you not sure whether you are awake or sleeping?”“Free your mind”Morpheus, and The Matrix are all used courtesy of my initial post of the same name(except the reboot and exruciating parts) but also because I am stuck in the year 1999 when “The Matrix” was a big movie hit and sadly I didn’t cross over the time zone to the movies of today, I must have been one of the few victims of the millennium bug, because the Ugandan Y2K programmer officer charged with re-programming me had gone off to watch Saida Kaloli sing Maria Salome in Mbale and hence my being an anomaly and I also notice that this P.S section of the story has performed an illegal operation and so will shut down in 5,4,3,2,1…..