Blame it on the......

Blame it on the Goose (goose) Got you feeling loose (loose) Blame it on Petron ('tron) Got you in the zone (zone) Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcoholI entirely blame last night's events on the alcohol(because even the goose is an alcohol; Grey goose Vodka)At the house warming party, I hula hooped. It was a girl competition and I joined in.At the housewarming party, J grabbed a pair of baloons, put them under his shirt like a woman with 36DD size boobs and he walked around saying his name is Jenny and he is from around the block. I kept squeezing them as I walked around as his P.I.M.P to introduce him to "prospective clients."On the way to the club from the housewarming party with a bottle of Jack Daniels(JD) in hand I confidently walked up to the bouncers and asked if I could get in with it and at least leave it in the clockroom or "sumthin....like on the table but I wont drink it, I promise. I will buy drinks"So they didnt let me in. But the rest of my friends were inside, so i had to get rid of the bottle, but it was like 3/4 full. This is Jack Daniels, you don't just pour it. So I walked into a nearby HSBC branch ATM centre. Its got loads of ATM machines, there has to be a hiding place there!I went to the one furthest from the entrance and placed the bottle on the floor next the machine. It was hidden from anyone coming in!Besides no one who is coming in to draw money from one of the busiest ATMS in Jersey at that time of the night is going to look over the side of the ATM machine to see if there is a bottle of Jack Daniels right?When the night was over, I confidently sauntered to the ATM to look for my bottle.It was there, waiting for me and yeah I am the emperor with my new clothes?P.SOpening lines adopted from Blame it by Jamie Foxx(yes the Oscar winning actor) featuring T-Pain(yes the computer assisted vocal musician)"The Emperor's New Clothes" (Keiserens nye Klæder) is a fairy tale by Danish poet and author Hans Christian Andersen about an emperor who unwittingly hires two swindlers to create a new suit of clothes for him.The emperor cares more about clothes than military pursuits or entertainment hires two swindlers who promise him the finest suit of clothes from the most beautiful cloth. This cloth, they tell him, is invisible to anyone who was either stupid or unfit for his position. The Emperor cannot see the (non-existent) cloth, but pretends that he can for fear of appearing stupid; his ministers do the same. When the swindlers report that the suit is finished, they dress him in mime. The Emperor then goes on a procession through the capital showing off his new "clothes". During the course of the procession, a small child cries out, "But he has nothing on!" The crowd realizes the child is telling the truth. The Emperor, however, holds his head high and continues the procession.The image at the top is a modern day painting adaptation of the fairytale.