How I Survived Entering a Sexual Network

It is finally over. My two weeks of friendship with a man who is living with his girlfriend and three children. Even though I never got to meet him face to face, it felt as if I already had and it was the most scary thing I have ever had to go through. Is there any manual on how to be a mistress to a man who is already committed to someone else? I do not expect one to be there because it is wrong in the first place. But internet tegwayo. When I googled it, I actually found some links on how to be a mistress to a married man. I know. It is a sick world I tell you.I will not go into the details of how our friendship started because that would be revealing too much. At first I did not give him much thought when we began chatting two weeks ago after I had asked him how one could buy his book and he had promised to give me a free copy. But when I read chapter one of his book aloud, even my Mom was blown away. I told her about him and what he does now. I knew then that it would be very difficult for me to run away from his advances. So on Thursday when I did not hear from him, it gave me some breathing space to think through this friendship hence my letter to Sanyu FM Breakfast. I was so desperate that I sent it through my phone just before I went to sleep.‘Dear Sanyu Breakfast,’ it read. ‘I'm not sure my letter will get through or if I'll be able to listen to your advice if you read it. Anyway, last week I met an interesting man who wants to date me. Problem is, he lives with his girlfriend and they have 2 children. The youngest is a 5 months old baby. I'm tempted to give in to him just so I can have a baby since I'm 35, childless and single. I have given up on marriage but I want to have my own child. He says he would be willing to look after the baby. Problem is, I live with my mom and I don't know how I'm going to manage dating this guy and having his baby while I'm living with her. I don't want to worry or disappoint her. At the same time, I don't want his girlfriend to ever find out about me. I don't want to hurt her but the man keeps pestering me to go out with him and I'm beginning to fall for him. What should I do? He says he's not happy with his girlfriend. Tina’Ladies blasted me. Men laughed at me. ‘How can a 35 year old still be living with their Mom?’ they asked. Most ladies told me to look for my own man and the men asked me to find my own place to stay. One lady told me to get a test tube baby. Another one said what I needed was a man and not a baby because there are so many men out there who would be willing to give me a baby. The ladies seemed to agree on the fact that this man I was tempted to date was telling me lies about being tired of his girlfriend because if that were true, he would have left his girlfriend. I thought to myself 'what about his children and the 3 months old baby? Of course he can't leave them. He will never leave them and I don't expect him to.' Then Fat Boy (yeah he has a blog so go welcome him. I was the first to do so) said something to the effect that staying with my Mom makes it difficult for a guy to take me out. That the moment I tell them who I live with, all they see is ‘police.’Of course none of them knew that I had changed a few facts in the story or it would have been too obvious who he was. They also did not know that I had been living on my own for 10 years before I moved in with my Mom in April last year. So it is even a good thing that I live with my Mom because that has kept away all sorts of issues including men.Later on in the day, he called me. I told him I could not continue with our friendship. I told him I had been looking at his photos and the one of his second born daughter and baby broke my heart. I could not interfere with such a beautiful family. He said many things which I will not repeat because I know they were lies. In spite of the fact that I knew he was lying, by the end of that day, he had managed to make me feel guilty for hurting him and so I gave him the green light. This followed a series of sweet nothings and promises we both knew we would probably never keep like good sex, hotel room adventures, late nights, seductive phone calls, exciting secret dates, gifts and the thrill of doing something bad.Then today he said something that gave me a good excuse to run without feeling guilty about leading him on. He said he was a control freak.Ha ha ha. He and I are both melancholies so our friendship would not have lasted long enough. Melancholies are often romantics and love finding things to be depressed about. As soon as I finished putting up this post, we talked again and as we continued our melancholy quarrel from where we had stopped, he emailed me UB40's 'Dream a Lie.' I had been trying to download it all day and failing after he had sent me the lyrics and told me he had been listening to it. He said he knew I would be as depressed as he was if I listened to it. I could sense that he was really hurt. We melancholies love too much and that is why we get hurt so easily. Anyway, my friendship with this man is over.