ALL IN THE NAME OF WOZA 2010

Hello folks, Been quite a hectic January. It is a new year with new challenges and opportunities in equal measure. Last friday I took a trip to Johannesburg, South Africa together with Boniface Azeirwe to run a few errands. As usual we were met at the airport by my South African buddy; Tshepo Modukanele and Dan who owns Kamorapeleng Guest house; my home away from home. As has become the custom we drove by McDonald’s to eat our favorite burgers and chips which are not sold in Uganda. Whilst there, we spoke generally about the pending world cup and the crime rate. It was generally agreed that the government had stepped up the police presence on the streets and that this had greatly reduced on the incidents. We proceeded to Kamorapeleng guest house. Later that evening we went to Greenstone Shopping Mall to pick some items. It is an amazing place. It is massive with lots of people walking around shopping, eating etc. We thereafter hit the streets for the night party which did not last long because we were very tired. The following day the routine was repeated. As we left the club, one cab guy approached us and offered to drive us to East Lombardy from where we were; deep in the Joburg CBD. We left with our host Tshepo though he dropped off at another night club and left us to the mercy of the cab driver. Having been to Joburg over the years I have come to learn a few streets and I could tell that the guy was lost. He then told me that we had told him that we were headed to East Gate; another shopping place. I reminded him that he was the cab driver hence was responsible for our safe delivery to Lombardy East. He muttered incomprehensible words to himself. He was leading us down a dark and deserted road at about 2.30AM. We ordered him to make a U-turn and look for Louis Botha Avenue. From here I would take charge and direct him. It is at this point that we realized that the guy was a Zimbabwean trying to make ends meet. We sympathized with him but rudely reminded him that it was not our duty to know where we were going since we were tourists. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally got to Louis Botha Avenue. The first car we saw in the distance upon turning was a Police car. The driver panicked and took the next left into some residential area to elude the police. We got concerned since Tshepo and Dan had told us that the police had been authorized to shoot on site in case of “robbers”. I told Boniface that two things awaited us;  that if police stopped us, the driver would ran away and leave us stranded or he would drive off and we’d be shot at by police in which case we would die. As we branched off Louis Botha Avenue into Johannesburg road, a police siren sounded. The driver stopped. I was confident that since we had travelled with our passports we were safe. The driver moved out to the Police car I guess to plead his case. He came back and collected a piece of paper and headed out again. The next thing I saw was a police woman by my window ordering me to wind it down; I couldn’t because it was faulty. I opened the door and she slammed it shut at which point her colleague drew a pistol. I was in a state of panic since I had heard of trigger happy policemen. The policeman approached the car, opened it and asked if we were drinking. I told him we weren’t and he asked where we were from. When I told him that we were from Uganda, he said and I quote “you people from Uganda are full of shit”. He checked the car for bottles and couldn’t find any and they left. Shortly after wards, the driver reappeared and told us that they took some money from him to let us go. We proceeded to our guest house without further incident. The driver asked us to pay R300 instead of the usual R170. We vehemently objected arguing that we were not responsible for his foolishness or DMC of his vehicle. Boniface didn’t even want to entertain the notion of adding even a cent. I prevailed over him reminding him that the fellow was a refugee and it would not be fair for us to leave him in the cold. We eventually gave him R250 which was a good deal in the circumstances. On Sunday we returned home safely. I urge all and sundry who intend to visit South Africa to always carry their passport with them to avoid serious jail time. It almost happened to me in 1999 and I was actually on the truck en route to jail when I was only saved by a colleague who ran back to the hotel and brought my passport. Cheers y’all, Deox