Aftermath

Directions:Kansanga -> Past KIU -> Past The Kobil -> Take A Left up Mitala Road -> Take The Right -> Look out for Nisha Salon -> Opposite that is a sign post saying Kiwafu Crescent, go down that Road and THA PARTY IS AT HOUSE NUMBER 16Hostesses. Foreign air hostesses. They were so many. Two of them had to squeeze upfront. I was trying not to brush up against her. Long legs that went on forever. Do you know how hard it is to try not to do something like that at the same time shift gears? Try changing gears with 2 fingers. It didn’t help that the second gear became that much harder to engage than usual.I drove carefully. If only so they wouldn’t spill their drinks in my mum's car. I was quiet most of the way. All of it actually. Instead I listened, and drifted in and out of my thoughts. Young. Beautiful. Still had the zest for life. Talked like they had no care in the world. I was ignored mostly. When they didn't speak English, they spoke another tongue - one I couldn't place. But I daresay it sounded Elven.I am a simple guy. I'd like to say i live a simple life. Truth is, I live a safe existence. All my life its what I've known. Its nowhere near fast-paced and exciting as that of some of the people I've met. My truly intense moments are so far apart. Years. I find my happiness in the small things - the funny things. But sometimes, I wonder. Sometimes… its so much easier not to be me. Why must I be the guy who thinks it perfectly ordinary to spend a weekend on a beautiful island with his girlfriend and not sleep with her? Why can't I be that guy who arrives at The Basement with four girls apiece. Four beautiful foreign girls with exotic accents. Whose words you can envision rolling off their tongues in a symphony of melody - beckoning you to come hither. Why do I always have to be the guy who worries about not being the jerk. The guy who thinks he can be different. The nice guy. When it's so much easier not to be. To not bother. Sometimes I want … I don't even know what I want. Freedom? No inhibitions? Its like I haven't lived enough. For God's sakes I'm only 24! I don’t know what the hell I'm talking about! Today, a little bit of me understands why my girlfriend so badly wants a tongue-ring I'm no stranger to driving at night. I'm not really night blind. I just can't see all that well at night. Every passing bright headlight leaves in its wake a fleeting moment of temporary blindness. It lasts only about a fraction of a second, but its there. You get used to it. Being shortsighted, you get used to not seeing things clearly all the time. You learn to focus on the little things. The small things. The distance your car is from the left bank of the road. The barely visible paint-lines that once marked the road lanes. But more importantly, the hazy red bloom of the tail lights of the car infront of you. They are my guide usually. Brake when he brakes. Swerve when he swerves. Its almost hypnotic. Its easy to fall into this trance. When you're not asleep, but you're not quite awake either. When your thoughts morph into dreams and back again. Till your not sure which is which anymore. People have died because of this.One of them reminded me I'd just missed the turn to Equatoria. I cussed under my breath. I was on auto-pilot again. I turned the car around & dropped them off at their stop, said my goodbyes. She asked me if I was going in with them. I politely declined, biting my lip all the way. Made up something about me being tired and all. Too bad, she said. she'd see me around. I drove the rest of the way back home. In my haze of dreams and thoughts. It took forever. And as I lay on my bed that night, waiting for sleep to catch up with me. I couldn’t help but think...God I need to move out!