Sad movies….always make me cry.

I used to love that song circa 1991. But my version was ”saaa doogies”…Don’t ask me what that means, that was just my interpretation. I’ve been crying on and off for the past three days, and somehow this was always the first song that came to mind. My life from the night of Saturday,7th/11/09 ’til now feels like its been a long,bad dream. I wish it was just a sad movie, I cry over those all the time, but life goes back to normal after 5 minutes. When my phone rang a couple of minutes after midnight on that fateful day, I thought my friend was either asking me where I was, or telling me about the party she had been to earlier that evening. She asked me how I was, where I was…..(fine, I’m in bed). Then proceeds to say in an unsteady voice, “Brian is dead”. I’ve experienced very few heart stopping moments in my life, and I can tell you now,this was one of them. I got an immediate chill and sat up with speed I didn’t know I posessed. I went on to ask the usual ‘who?’,'what?!’ ‘HOW???’ ‘Are you sure?’ “Let me make a few calls and get back to you.” My phone calls just made everything worse, confirmed the horrible news. There’d been a tragic accident, and in Brian’s case, it was fatal. These past few days have gone by in a blur. I was flooded with memories. Memories of good times. Of his generousity,his energy,his charisma,his determination….and along with these memories comes regret. Wishing I’d been kinder, made the effort to spend a little more time…like they say,if wishes were horses… The vigil and church service made it worse. Seeing his grieving dad breaking down with every step he took was heart wrenching. Listening to the hopes and dreams he had for him, to the memories his friends who’d known him for years shared with us, and ofcourse to the realisation that this is it. This is probably the last time we’re going to see him for a long,long time. We wept. We wept coz we are going to miss our friend, coz it hurts to see a life cut so short, because the memories of other loved ones we’d lost we’d tucked far away suddenly resurfaced, and had us thinking,this can’t be happening again. We can’t change the past, we can only look forward to the future. We can be better people starting now. Life is too short.  To Brian, rest in peace, you will be sorely missed. I’m sure you’ll be as great a leader in heaven as you were on earth.  To Anita, its been almost two and a half years, but not a day goes by when I don’t think of the angel we lost. To all my loved ones,  I LOVE YOU!!! just incase you didn’t know that already. God Bless You. ‘Til next time. Peace, T.