i spied with my litto eye

walking along to class bright and early this morning and what do i see but a soldier in full uniform going the oposite way and pray do tell what was it about this soldier that made him stick out from the crowd well not much apart from he having a case a really bad case of the cross eyes wow now when did you ever see a cross eyed soldier the kinda cross where his right eye be looking at his left shoulder and his left eye be checking out his right shoulder i am not making fun of the man you see i got nothing aganist people with wonky eyes my girlfriend you see has got a mild case of the cross eyes used to be bad but the specs sorted that not that by being with someone who is cross eyed even a bit i am as if absolving myself of responsibility for saying nasty things about cross eyed people its just that you see i had like a daydream where i was the president and this cross eyed jammah was the sharp shooter who had a bead on the american terrorist who was gonna blow my shit up for refusing to let my east african nation become a poodle to the genetically modified food eating gender bending abortion loving capital punishment hating immigrant bashing collection of ignorant unwashed humanity that is the united states and before you say it let it be known that my mum is american by naturalisation not birth thankfully so there kati this clean cut department store name chanting Gap wearing strawberry blond blue eyed kiefer sutherland lookalike is about to blow my shit up must fire the minister for internal affairs how did this boy get his fertiliser bomb into the country the boy gon blow me up and there’s only one sniper who got a rapidly closing 5 second window to take this mother out its the cross eyed soldier tell me punk are you feeling lucky today?