Saving virginity Losing face

The first time I received a love letterIt was from a senior one studentI was in primary fiveThe house girl found me on the verandah crying“I would like to have sex with you”The last line in the letter had readSex was wrong but even scarierHow dare he even suggest itHouse girl laughed at me and I was puzzledBut he said he wanted to….I arguedSo? she counteredIt’s up to you to say yes or noTwo years down the roadI was wiserI’m not readyI would always say to my S.3 dudeWhenever he asked for someSo dudeWho had been patient with me for about a yearLost his patience and called me in one dayAgain, Seriously this timehe asked for someI’m not ready, again I saidWhen you say you are not readyWhat exactly do you mean? Is there some thing you need to do, buy?Some kind of ritual you need to do to prepare yourselfI can sit here or step out while you get yourself readyI may not have been old enough at 12 to defend my standBut I had enough brains to know that I had come to the end of this ropeAnd had to move onFastI took offfrom right before his eyesAs if the devil was right at my heelsand didnt stop until I was safely locked in my room at home with my V. intact and safeNever saw dude againI made sure of itI also never stopped imagining him trashing me to his friends either.