"If it eats, bribe it," said The Philosopher

Mood: Uncertain-about-my-mood mood[Toot!] Index: 1.2Communism Bit: OffLocation: NakulabyeBecause of the spot I am in, at this point in my life, I'm prone to falling for this stuff of subscribing to "conventional wisdom" from business "thought leaders". You know, I may end up picking up a book from some "business guru" or the like.But I won't.If I'm going to read anything for my business edification, I know where to find it. For the curious, it is between Ecclesiastes and Psalms—common sense distilled into Semitic dichotomous verse. Consider Proverbs 17:8A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of one who gives it;wherever he turns, he prospers. No education is complete without that. I know about Proverbs 17:23, too:The wicked accepts a bribe in secret,to pervert the ways of justice. But you notice the evil one, here, is the one who accepts the bribe to pervert justice—not the giver. I'll be a giver, certainly. Not a taker, but a giver. The bad side of bribes is also part of a complete education, isn't it? More on bribes from The Philosopher, in Proverbs 21:14A gift in secret averts anger,and a concealed bribe, strong wrath. Two lines repeating the same thing (for emphasis, I guess), and with poetic élan.But the other source of wisdom is from music. The official band of my company will be Coldplay. There is a recurring theme in Coldplay lyrics that is at the very centre of this effort: If you never try, you'll never know. These words, exactly these words, occur in two songs. One is Fix You, and the other is Speed of Sound. Another song, the tear-jerking What If?, has It could bend, or it could break; that's the risk that you take. [...] How can you know it if you don't even try?So, you see, seated at Trenchtown, this silly old iMac G3, I have roughly everything I need to check up, when drawing policies. When a question arises, say like "Should we slip them a bribe, you think?", I know the answer. "If it eats, bribe it." Vive la corruption! Uganda's single greatest convenience.