I am so over this vamp nonsense series

Okay, so I finally watched 2 Twilight movies… I am here to confess and have my sins, and hopefully my short term memory of the experience, purged.
The entire time, and especially in Part 2, I was thinking: Why the **** would a creature that has lived centuries waste its time hankering after a small town American teenage girl with daddy issues, a tentative look and a non-existent fashion sense? Especially when this particular teenage girl is soooooo annoying and has very poor short term judgement or long term planning. The director attempts to address my dilemma in the scene where Bella ‘saves’ Edward from committing suicide over her. Bella asks Edward why he could possibly love a nobody and nothing like her… His answer was either unconvincing or unmemorable because I do not recall it.
There can be only 2 explanations for this discombobulatingly vexing paradox: One, the makers of the film recently found Jesus, and Edward’s love for Bella is a poorly portrayed (highly inappropriate) image to depict God’s unconditional love for the cockroaches that constitute mankind. Or two, Edward has gone insane from too many centuries of dull light and repeating high school and he knows not what he doeth. Or maybe he does know what he is doing, but a priest told him to date Bella as penance for all the teenage girls he has killed over the centuries.
I will watch Part 3 to confirm my theory and fuel my anger about other domestic issues.
PS: You know what got me through the movie? The vain hope that Bella would, after the fashion of the typical teen, get upset with Edward and say: “Bite me.”