Loss?

Welcome home you!I know you by name.I've been waiting for this day.These are the words I pray that each loved one meets when they depart from this realm.No amount of confusion, sorrow, or sadness can describe the way I feel right now. A part of me keeps asking why now? Why not another time? How do these things amass to such an opportune descent all at once? I promised myself that I was going to laugh everything off and let it be. Sometimes, it's hard. It's hard to fight the lump in my throat and think to myself, now's not the time. You have to be strong for you and everyone you love, be strong for and through Him that has stood by you all these years. I have to learn to take the blows as they come. I have to learn to take other people's blame because it has managed to weave its way to me anyway. The least I could do is to keep on living. At the very best, my faith will be augmented to heights it has never reached. It seems like every single day is another lesson that nothing of this world matters in the least! Vanity… that's all that it is.Constant judgments, false pretences claiming knowledge above others, and yet forever stuck on self, everything seems comparable to him, her, them, doubts are turned into absolute truths just to fit the comfy-zone that we've built around ourselves… when will it ever be enough? Whatever happened to a simple heart wanting to learn and live only for God alone? When will that ever be enough? I have come to realize that happiness, peace, and love are found inside of you… Him in you, not He in you and him/her, God comes first. There's a complexity when interaction with other humans occurs (often inevitably) simply because there's always an outer force that tries to cause strife. In any case, I shall continue to believe that love conquers all. I am forever on the road to restarting the trust walk with people everyday… today as I went through some emails and messages, I realized that it's no use even attempting to be upset at half of the things that have been said and or done to me. It is never the heart of that person per se. Forces beyond flesh are at work here and that is a battle I (we all) can only fight through prayer.In the meantime, as people vex to be recognized, as lies are passed as truth, as hearts are brought to breaking and hurt, as suffering and persecution reign in an ostensibly unforgiving world, there is a sweet escape in which a sweet sweet Spirit invitingly cuddles me away from the cruelty out here. For this I am grateful.For the exceedingly loved one that left us today, I thank God for his time on earth, for the lives he touched (including mine) and I pray for the courage, strength, and faith of all those he loved to follow through in making our nation a better place. May his soul rest in peace and find solace and perfect peace with our Father in Heaven.Addendum: My woohoo moment of clarity and praise this morning (5am my time) came from Ecclesiastes 4 & 5. Thank You LORD for these two verses that spoke so clearly to me. I am humbled by Your infinite power and love. All is well with You in my soul. Thank you!"Better is an handful with quietness, than both thehands full with travail and vexation of spirit." - {Eccl 4:6}"Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heartbe hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou uponearth: therefore let thy words be few." - {Eccl 5:2}"If thou seest the oppression of the poor, andviolent perverting of judgment and justice in a province, marvel not at thematter: for he that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there be higherthan they." - {Eccl 5:Bless!