"I is who is iz"

Lately I have been thinking about her and the fact that she has not blogged in a while on her blog because she is trying to "grow up". Considering that "I is who I iz" is found on her blog, I find that afew bunch of people telling you to grow up would cause a sudden step back from what one loves doing and writing about!!! When I was in primary school, I was the tallest and probably the most awkward looking youngster in every class I got to. I remember in my Primary Two, one of those "aunties" looked at me and said I was too big for my class and that I looked like a Primary five kid-ouch!!! As a result I started slouching and doing my best not to draw any attention to me.....that's when esteem issues hit and all because someone made a comment I could not stomach- it had become me! I started doing my best to perform in class so that atleast there would be something someone admired about me and this actually worked........I was known for my brains.... It was not until senior 4 vacation when it hit me that I was "shy". I never wanted to be compared with any of my girlfriends even though at this point I was one of the tinniest people amongst my peers, with a great body (yeah- tiny waist and very lovely legs). The reason: my face- more than one person commented that I had such a tough face that it was hard to approach me- ouch! So while everyone got a friend instantly, I was approached through my friends: my interpretation- I am not good enough, there is something wrong with me, I am ugly and not worth noticing. I resorted to buggy clothes, and hanging with the guys-hence the reason some of my best buddies are guys and they refer to me as "one of the guys"..... It was interesting to see that at some point some babes (a.k.a "kyanas") wanted to be me and hang with the guys. Everyone wanted to dress like me, dance like me or talk like me! This got me confused because I wanted to be like them. By the time I got to senior 6, I was my own person- so I had a tough face, get used to it-maybe if you could not get passed the face, you were not worth my time! I was somebody-it did not matter that I did not fit in the world in the ordinary way or the way everyone thought was the cool way to be- I was me! Once I realized that I loved being me- it must have shown on my features- suddenly I was even considered pretty! By the time I was through with my university degree and post-graduate diploma- I was proud of me! I loved me and believe I am one of the most beautiful people in the world.................. I have realized that the world is subjective. We are compared to a standard that we were not considered for when the standard was being set- no wonder we feel worthless and undesirable when placed on the scales! I have learnt that no one has a right to tell you what you, you are not what you believe you are. I have challenged myself and have to do so continuously to decide what I want to do and what I want be perceived as because that is what I count as admirable! I am convicted that this is what makes me an individual and not someone else...........like my boss says, "the only limits that exist are those that you place on yourself..." So my dear- who said you needed to grow up? Is that what you honnestly feel about yourself? or is it that you have been unfairly judged by those who do not even know you but feel they do? At the end of the day, dear, "I is who I iz!"