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A bit of this and that posted on December 19, 2010 - 3:10am

I skipped town this afternoon to a remote happy location that I will not disclose because that would defeat the purpose of skipping town. randomly.So now I sit in a tiny cosy kitchen that smells both of spicy meatballs and cinnamon Christmas candles. And as a form of self inventory-I'm giving in to the urge to write. At least a little.I am thankful that Christmas is gone and with it the undue pressure to be deliriously happy. I am not unhappy for the most part. I however, seem acutely averse to being told how to feel. Not everybody can be sparkly on cue you know?On that note, I apologize to all the people I instructed to have a merry Christmas--it was all the pressure you know, to be merry and stuff. What I really meant-was have a good Christmas whatever that means to you.

The Way The Wind Blows posted on December 15, 2010 - 8:01am

I wanted to talk. I wanted to say more than hello and goodbye. I wanted to say congratulations. I wanted to say that I know. I know that life is not black and white-we are all just shades of grey wandering along the vast continuum of our existence. Everything is in complex layers; people, life, situations...none of that is completely black and white. Some how we just have to find the shade of grey that smoothly blends with our soul or peel back slowly, one layer at a time to find the ultimate truth. It is good to know that I was right about you. About your honor and your goodness. About that light inside of you that has survived dark battles, snow storms, windy nights.I wanted to tell you that you have pulled through already. As unfair as it may sound, sometimes a single choice changes the course of our lives. The beautiful thing is that you have already made that choice.

To Write Love on Her Arms posted on November 12, 2010 - 10:32pm

This may not wash off easily...but that is the point. To write love on her arms is an ongoing anti-suicide, depression and self-harm movement that I learned about from a bumper sticker and then from Facebook.I am not completely sure how the movement works but I believe in the idea that love mends broken things.So I will be joining the masses of people writing LOVE on their skin this weekend.

Dear Diary I posted on November 12, 2010 - 8:06am

Dear Diary,I have perfected the art of walking along the cobblestone on river street in six inch heels. Be proud.Went to the RMH dinner cruise tonight, and it was cold and beautiful. The river looks so much better at night than it does in the daylight. Savannah is strange and somewhat multi-cultured, and it has grown on me in pretty much the same way sushi has. I can't help but appreciate how much this tiny coastal city has allowed me to grow, and when I look back one day ( I always do)-Savannah memories will elicit many a wistful smile.Denniece is moving back to Covington in December and I feel like these last few weeks with her are fleeting. I am not prepared to have her faraway, but I am grateful, immensely grateful for having experienced the kind of friendship that makes separation hard.

For a posted on November 7, 2010 - 4:05am

For a precious brief moment, I found clarity. I rose above heartache, loss, shame, rejection, betrayal,and confusion and saw the beauty of imperfection. Wholesomely I appreciated being human and vulnerable. In waves, the pain will come and go. Sometimes I will miss you more than I can bear, sometimes I will be distracted by life’s mundane things-laundry, homework, a friend’s birthday party… it is true-sometimes I will not remember you. And it is this mixed bowl; the good days, the not-so- good and the can’t get out of bed because I miss your face days…that reminds me that I am alive. It reminds me to take every chance I get to smile, to appreciate every good laugh…to let myself cry when I need to, to be generous with my hugs and with my love…

A Dozen Yellow Daisies posted on October 28, 2010 - 5:17am

One of the best pieces of advice (why do they call them pieces anyway?) I ever got is very simple-learn how to take a break.I am just really not good at that.I have missed you. Honestly.I immerse myself completely in the things that seem critical at the moment, but there is a tiny, tiny bit of me that doesn't seem to forget about writing...being here, talking to you-telling you about the stale sandwich I ate for lunch, 5 o'clock traffic and my passionate views on nail polish.The last few months have been hard, I've been a bit of a mobile train wreck. Tell your children (if you have any) to be careful, to watch out for the self destruct button. Because it is not so much what other people do to us as it is what we do to ourselves. Sometimes you break your own heart.

The Simple Truth posted on August 5, 2010 - 7:46am

Angry rain drops eventually stopped pelting my window making me realize how very quiet it was. I l got up from the desk, tore my self away from the pictures I was editing and peeked outside. The sky, clearing after the summer storm, seemed friendly, almost inviting.I left the window, went to the kitchen to refill on coffee and slipped out to the balcony. A gentle moist wind blew in my direction ruffling my already messy hair. I took slow deliberate breaths enjoying the nothingness that surrounded me. It was then that I realized that the tight heaviness, the invisible weight I was feeling was neither stress nor chronic fatigue nor any of the excuses I usually give for any physical discomfort. I was finally on vacation and had time to do the things that make me smile. I had also had plenty of sleep, several fantastic morning runs and the subsequent long steamy showers. I knew then that the weight I couldn't shake was you.

Amazing posted on June 23, 2010 - 7:08am

Dear Diary, today I rocked a gallbladder exam! Be jealous! It was beautiful, complete with a juicy green gall bladder and 94% EF.Yes, Nuclear Medicine excites me, gall bladders(and all kinds of other organs) make me smile, and I am a geek:-) whatever. I know the world is plagued with serious problems-disease, hunger, war...et al. I acknowledge the seriousness of it and consequently refrain from overly dwelling on my personal disasters. I will not magnify my tiny, generally insignificant, utterly inconsequential private tragedies because, like I said-it sucks so much more elsewhere.So, I am learning to celebrate. Every little thing that makes life more livable, everything that inspires me to throw on my faded navy blue scrubs every morning and go be amazing.

Falling Awake posted on June 12, 2010 - 5:05am

"Monkeys in my heart are rattling their cages" Gary Jules-Falling Awake LyricsIt has been a long seven days. I feel like I have been barely breathing, taking slow very deliberate but still notably shallow breaths. I am not a drama queen. There are moments when I have wished that I was-wished that I could explode, throw a tantrum, pick a huge fight, scream embarrassingly loudly, fly off the handle and possibly land somewhere soft. Relieved and fulfilled.

Things I Learned This Weekend posted on May 17, 2010 - 8:17am

#1. I can't skate.#2. I am going to keep Joss Stone & Common "Tell Me What We Gonna Do Now" on repeat for at least a few months.