October 2008

I'm missing my first boyfriend. I have had many boyfriends. many many but he will remain in a special place in my heart. That shy boy that found the guts to call me one afternoon and tell me how much he liked me. we were 14 years old and it was a sweet love. full of innocence and charm, like love should be.met him at a school seminar. french class. i was up there dancing my heart out to a silly

People I want to tell you…
People I want to share
this ka story of mine….
: There was this teacher
she called me to class
: and said my pants were too long
: but she was ok with long things
she said my hair was disorganised,
: but she said she was ok with hairy things
: She said my shirt was hanging loose
: but she was ok with things that hung loose
She asked me if i wanted to learn
: and I said no teacher
: Im tired, I do not want to write
: but she said no,
: Let me do all the work,
: you just lie there and enjoy!!
: And as I lost my mind
: the lesson I learnt was,
Virginity has no place between teacher and student

I’m a writerIt’s my profession; it’s what I do for a livingIn my own way I’d like to believe thatI offer healing, soothing, encouragement, inspirationI influence justice…In my own way as a published writer I tryI have sat across from a child not so much older than I that has courted death every waking hour. Knowing he would never be called daddy, hubby, grandpaLiving each second with the knowledge that he was dying

I remember watching One Tree Hill, season 4 or 3, (the episode in which this guy called Jimmy took some of his fellow students hostage), and thinking, ‘What does it feel like to be a misfit?’ I am also grateful that I’ve never had to suffer that way, I have never let myself do.

To have close a friend, ear-splitting silence;
Drifting away, far as the moon’s distance:
To be engulfed in blissful loneliness;

To die alive, absent in your presence;
Have sad bliss, ache for happiness;
To consume hate, summon fate:
To be a misfit!

This week has been characterised by quite a few depressing moments but this afternoon seems to be the winner.I had gone to workers house to deliver something i had promised to give to a client and one of the things i love about this place are the lifts,not only  coz they help me do maalo but as it goes up i feel like am conquering the world. so i usually get a nice spot at the extreme end,and drink it all in.
But today,i take this one and am the only girl amoung 10 men between the ages of 35 and 55.This is why i wasnt happy.

Olga Kurylenko and Daniel Craig in Quantum of Solace

So, you are wondering what an endorsement from a small, inconsequential blog will mean to this gargantuan race. This race that seems a clash of generations, civilizations.Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this blog is not as redundant as you suppose. Just the other day (and I swear by my…) a friend called from Canada, saying the moment he asked Google for “serious” African blogs---this one popped up first. So, I know this endorsement means a lot---influencewise.And let me make this clear. I have a host of buddies, residing in places like California and America in general, who look at me for political guidance. One of them is my good old Solo. To show his appreciation for the guidance offered in months gone past—he sent me an Obama T-shirt. So, you know where I am coming from.That in the first place explains why I am endorsing Obama. I have his T-shirt.

The first time I received a love letterIt was from a senior one studentI was in primary fiveThe house girl found me on the verandah crying“I would like to have sex with you”The last line in the letter had readSex was wrong but even scarierHow dare he even suggest itHouse girl laughed at me and I was puzzledBut he said he wanted to….I arguedSo? she counteredIt’s up to you to say yes or noTwo years down the roadI was wiserI’m not readyI would always say to my S.3 dude

i believe the luganda/runyankore equivalent is ‘kukwana’. I was heading over to a clients office yesto and i sat next to this dude who devised this totally ridiculous strat to ‘befriend’ me.Just as i was about to take a seat,someone jumped out of the taxi and this dude moved all the way from the back to the seat i intended to take up so we became seat mates. now i had spent a considerable amount of time listening to life house the past week and most of the songs got stuck in my head ,so i closed my eyes and listened to the voices in my head.

One.I come from a family where emotions are expressed in extreme moderation. We do not cry like some do. teary eyes are enough to show you that we are in extreme pain. a tear will run down our faces and it will be quickly dubbed away. From childhood we are taught that expression of deep emotion is looked upon negatively where we come from. When someone sucks their teeth, holds their chest, waist

If I could:

Bathe, baby, batheWhen invisible walls are closing inCan you part the stench curtainsAnd stick your nose outsideHoping to drink in some fresh air?How do you crawlOut of the dark chocking depthOf an office cubicleTurned stinky dungeon?Where can you hideFrom these territorial clawsOf co-worker’s odourReaching with anti-perfume hugsOf sweat-buttered,Armpit-hairy,Crotch-suffocated,mouldy-toed,Unwashed body?*This is the short version of a very eloquent rant I have bottled up since last week. I'm about to report to work in a space suit. How do you handle?

This is not an original post but it was the favourite quote of my departed friend Philip.Thought i'd share these words as they are such strong words of wisdom." Its not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again.Because there is no effort without error and shortcomings, he who knows the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the high achievemnet of triump and who at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows his place shall never be with those timid and cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat."R.I.P. Tendo Philip, Kapale, Pip, Pips, Boyii, etc

Is it wrong of me to want to be close to a heart that makes me smile,Hands that embrace me,Faith that makes me walk for miles?Would you judge me if I clung to love that made my soul leap,Hope that chased my fears,Patience that made me rise from a messy mound?

It's funny waking up one morning and feeling like you've lost your identity, the very essence of who you are or the only thing you knew yourself by. Actually, no, it's not funny. It's tragic. You feel like a veil has been draw over all you knew and you lost in some weird mist type thing..... Ok, whatever, I'm having a bad day. Every one suddenly seems so in love with me except the love of my life for 6 bleeding years, I'm starting to have the feeling that at the rate that I'm going, I'll probaby end up being one of those freaky hermit spinster chicks with all the cats..... I feel strangely lost, as if I'm losing some element of myself that I can't quite put my finger on..... Falling and waiting ever so desparately to be caught.... My best friend (or my person as I prefer to call him) and I had a fight because he says I'm losing the insensitivity that he found the most appealing aspect when we had just met.

The Fund for Peace annually produces a survey that depicts the state of national stability around the world. http://www.fundforpeace.org/web/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=99&Itemid=140In its 2008 Failed States Index, Somalia came in at No.1 (no surprises), and Uganda, came in at No.16! And we are in good company: 14. Haiti, 15. North Korea, tied 16th with Ethiopia, 18. Lebanon, 19. Nigeria.Our Neighbours rank better: Kenya 26, Tanzania 75, Rwanda 42.How did we sink so far down the food chain? The Fund for Peace calculates the score according to various factors:

"Oh shit!" momentEver had one of those "This is going to hurt" moments? This morning, I was leaning way too far out of a non-empty bathtub - over a sink for a towel hanging on the door... and I caught my reflection in the mirror

I guess am required by unwritten rules and urged on by invisible forces, to wear my heart on my sleeves. Fine, I’ll do it!

But two lines ought to suffice.

My heart was empty yesterday;
My heart is full to the brim today.

It happened on Sunday evening when a very dear friend of mine sat at the side of a pool in deep reflection on the path of their life....enjoying a moment by themselves to be themselves and stare at life square in the face. Infact so intense was their reflection that they did not hear the footsteps that hurried to commit this evil deed! Suddenly! A sharp pain caused by a heavy blow to thier head and they were out for about, was it 5 or was it 10 min?

New Vision Thursday, 23rd October, 2008 By John Odyek THE International Criminal Court (ICC) has asked for the steps the DR Congo has taken in pursuing the indicted leaders of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). In 2005, the ICC sought for the arrest of the LRA’s top leaders who were hiding in the DR Congo’s Garamba National Park. In a statement issued on Tuesday, the ICC stated that it needed the information by November 17. Kony and his top commanders have been indicted for war crimes and crimes against humanity. “On September 27 2005 the requests for (the) arrest and surrender of Joseph Kony, Vincent Otti, Okot Odhiambo and Dominic Ongwen, were submitted to the DR Congo, following information from Uganda that the LRA had been based in that country for more than three years, specifically in Garamba National Park,” the statement read.